Story time
by TrulyWished
Summary: Yumi tells Shuuhei a story about Ikkakku and Kira. yaoi


Disclaimer: Kubo Tite owns Bleach, I'm not nearly that good.

No real warnings, no spoilers, nothing but Yumi being his conceited little self and Shuuhei tolerating him. A touch of yaoi, Ikkaku/Kira pairing, perhaps a future Yumi/Shuuhei. This is a oneshot, so it's all done.

B Story time /B 

"Helllooooo!" Fuck. My head hits the desk in frustration; just go away! "Want to hear a story?"

Yumichika Ayasegawa settles himself in the middle of my desk, little feet swinging as he beams at me. "No. Go away."

"Oh, that's not nice! You're so mean to me, you're lucky I like you so much." A pretty little pout and his hair flips a bit. "Well, I'm going to tell you a story, because you shouldn't work so hard. It's unhealthy."

"No, it's just not lazy like you. Get off."

A bright giggle and he kicks more, grinning. "Oh, I would love to, but you keep telling me you don't want to." I frown at him and he laughs again. "Anyways, ready? It's a story about Ikka!" As if all his stories aren't about Ikkaku or him.

"Ikka used to be really scary. He'd beat up anyone, for no reason, just cause he wanted to. He picked fights everywhere and I had to carry him to the nearest bar just for a celebration drink. Which I had to pay for most of the time too. That sucked, I worked hard for that money. All those men, and women sometimes, women are damn scary, groping me. Eck. They weren't even good looking either, it was gross.

But, Ikka! Ikka, fuck, he'd sleep with pretty much anything as long as it was female and willing. Ick, I wouldn't have stayed in the same inn as some of those women, to use the term loosely. But he notched them up and boasted about it, just like fights.

The man's man, Ikka is, rough, tough, stronger than anyone and willing to prove it. Women, booze and fighting were all that existed in his cozy little world. The stupid shit he did would fill volumes. None of that pansy feelings stuff. As he told me pretty much daily.

Right up until little Kira Izuru trotted down the street, trailing his Captain like a puppy to greet us. Never seen anyone fall so hard or fast, except for me, of course. But Ikka never wanted anything to do with me. Humph. He just has bad taste.

When they left, he just stood there, staring after that skinny ass. He didn't appreciate my laughing. I couldn't breath and ended up on the ground, so I didn't appreciate it either. Got my robes all dirty! And he was mean about that too.

Always insisted it was love from the beginning but I know better. It was lust, he couldn't even remember the kid's name for a week. It always starts as lust, no exceptions.

Poor Ikka, I wanted to help him but he wouldn't let me! Said I was a pain. Can you believe that? I mean really, I was just trying to give him a hand, he certainly needed it. His idea of courting was to start fights whenever Kira was around and show him what a great man he was. Ridiculous.

But, somehow it sort of worked. Kira always watched from the corner of his eye, at least until Ichimaru noticed and whisked him away. After a bit, he stopped watching, the bruises on his wrists too much. Ikka stopped fighting when he noticed.

Then he started taking little presents and leaving them with Kira's name on them. I went a few times to watch him open them. Just tiny things, inexpensive, but the smile they got. If Ikka hadn't already claimed him, I'd have chased him down myself. It never lasted but he'd run off and hide them. It was so cute, the way he'd try to pretend he didn't have anything whenever Ichimaru came around.

The bruises weren't nearly as cute and Ikka almost went flying in there to beat the bastard to death. I had to sit on him for an hour before he calmed down. We snuck over later and took supper, slipped it through the window while he was crying, poor thing. Didn't see him for a week but he talked to us through the slates sometimes

He was so lonely, crazy for his Captain but isolated, not allowed to have friends, no family. Ikka went by himself mostly, wandered home at dawn, dazed and so ridiculously in love it was sickening. When the assholes ran off, first place he went was to find Kira, passed out at Matsumoto's.

Carried him home, let him cry all over him, got him up and dressed, made him move around. Kept him sane. Almost refused when we were sent to the real world. But, Kira's not as much of a fluff as he looks. He promised to still be here when we got back and Ikka itched the entire time we were there, was the first through the Gate.

Even moved over to be Lieutenant of the Third. I think he might be crazy but at least he's happy. And you've seen them, holding hands, whispering to each other. Sickening, isn't it?"

He finally stops for breath and I butt in before he can keep going. "Why are you telling me this?" I know it all, I was there too. Well, almost all, but enough to know the story.

He gives me this pitying look, as if he can't believe I haven't figured it out. A light push and he nearly floats off the desk and glides to the door, opening it quietly. "Because, Shuuhei, if the manliest of men can fall for a guy, perhaps you'll see that you can too."

The door closes behind him before I can respond. What? Fall for a guy? As in, him? Fuck. My head hits the desk again, slowly pounding. I know that. Hell, I already have.


End file.
